


The variables of Lee Donghyuck

by MiaMiatzo



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: DID is a serious illness, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Dongsook, Hyuck has DID, Hyuck is struggling, M/M, Mark is a sweetpie, Peter - Freeform, Sickfic, Tagged as T because of the illness, haechan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-25
Updated: 2020-03-25
Packaged: 2021-03-01 00:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,770
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23305954
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiaMiatzo/pseuds/MiaMiatzo
Summary: People liked calling Donghyuck bipolar for his sudden mood swings and outstanding personality. They just didn’t know he actually had a problem with it and, when they did, how to handle it.Thanks to any superior force in the universe he did have Mark, who knew every side of him, every piece of him, who loved all of him. All of them.
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee
Comments: 12
Kudos: 122





	The variables of Lee Donghyuck

**Author's Note:**

> Hello, angels, how are you? I hope you're home and safe >.<
> 
> Before we get started I need to make some points clear.
> 
> 1\. This is IN ANY WAY a romanticization of DID. Dissociative Identity Disorder is a serious illness and needs to be treated correctly with the right professional.
> 
> 2\. I have been studying about DID for more than a year now and this story has been in the drafts for long too. However, I am not a professional about the subject and I can make mistakes. This story went through the avail of a psychologist, but again it may contain mistakes. That was one of the reasons I had a foot back into posting it for so long. 
> 
> 3\. People with DID generally have around 13 different personalities, here's Hyuck will only have four but it's for the sake of brevity, I would never be able to work with 16 personalities (Donghyuck's true number) in such little amount of words. I plan on making this a series, this is only a taste of the intricate story I created for Mark and Donghyuck. 
> 
> I guess that's everything for now, please check the end notes for more!

**_SUPER IMPORTANT: READ THE NOTES!!!!_ **

When Mark arrived at Donghyuck’s house that Saturday in their usual meeting time to work on their Biology project he expected everything, except for the colorful dresses scattered around his best friend/boyfriend's bed and floor. 

That could only mean one thing: Dongsook was back.

He searched for the girl, looking around the bedroom and even at the bathroom next door but found nothing. That was bad, Dongsook loved to go out, but doing it without someone supervising her always meant problems. Mrs. Lee didn’t seem preoccupied, though, nor did she warned Mark about her presence, which only could mean that she was either there without her acknowledge or had found a way to escape.

He really hoped it was the first case.

Just when he was about to give up looking and was already on the way of telling Donghyuck’s mother about it he heard metallic noises coming from the kitchen as if someone was furiously stirring a pan, so he went there to check.

And there she was, Lee Dongsook in all of her glory of bunny hair-pins and sun-kissed skin, dressed in a polka-dotted red dress and pink apron stained with what he supposed was chocolate. 

Mark let out a chuckle making the girl look at his direction instantaneously. 

“Mark-oppa!” she screamed, letting the spoon slip from her hands and into the tidy (not so tidy anymore) white tile floor “Oops”.

Mark rolled his eyes, clicking his tongue.

“You’re so clumsy, oh my gosh” he said, ruffling her orange hair.

Dongsook pouted.

“Meanie” she crossed her arms, no real offense taken.

The older slowly stopped chuckling, finding adorable how the girl was so cute and aggressive at the same time, but also concerned about his male friend. 

“Where’s Donghyuck, Sook?” he asked with a serious tone this time.

If Sook was there something must have happened. Dongsook wouldn’t just appear out of nowhere if her twin wasn’t having problems. 

The girl languidly unfolded her arms, a gloomy expression taking her features.

“He’s… asleep” she finally said, as if it was venom on the tip of her tongue.

She shook her head.

“Anyways, tomorrow is Valentine’s and that dumbass wouldn’t care to make anything for you, so I decided to take over” she spat, raising an eyebrow sassily at the older. 

Mark could only laugh again, reaching a thumb up to clean a strain of the dark candy from her cheeks.

“Were you really making it for me or eating it all instead?” he joked and Sook would have replied with another comment of that type if the taller wouldn’t have brought that same finger to his lips and licked it clean, making the girl blush madly and turn around in embarrassment.

Just at that moment, the stove made a wheeze and a chocolate bubble popped from inside the pan, spilling more of the dark liquid on the floor and countertop. Dongsook hissed and cursed under her breath, crossing the room while avoiding the luscious splashes to pick a towel and clean it.

While she was crouched, Mark turned off the fire and before the girl realized he was already dressed in another apron, tying it to his back while waiting for her instructions.

“What are you doing?” she asked, however.

“Helping you, obviously, I don't want to explain to your mother why the kitchen was burned down” he explained, leaving a light squish in her left cheek at the end of the sentence.

“Funny” she retorted, after trying to bite his fingers away “But you can't help me. The gift is for you, anyways, where would be the fun if you made it yourself?”.

“I'm not making it, I'm just helping you so you won’t get yourself OR the kitchen burned” he explained, in a more serious tone now “Look, I promise, it's going to be special to me anyway because it's you who's doing it” he smiled, making her sigh and retribute the gesture like saying  _ You'll never change, will you? _

That's how they spent the morning, melting chocolate (and eating half of it), playing and messing with each other and trying not to make a mess (well, a bigger mess).

At some point, Donghyuck’s mother came to claim the kitchen back if they wanted to have lunch, what they didn't complained about. They were done cleaning and putting the candy in the little heart-shaped molds and into the fridge anyway, so both of them went upstairs to the twins' room to change into some clean clothes. 

The two males were so used to spend time in each other's houses that some of their clothes would even take place in their wardrobes. So Mark changed into one of his plain white shirts that was thrown in Donghyuck's headboard (he would deny if Mark asked if he was wearing his clothes, of course, but that wouldn’t be less true) while Sook picked a turquoise blue dress that time, tidying up the room and putting the other pieces of clothing scattered around back into the wardrobe before changing.

“Sook”, Mark called her while she was cleaning.

She hummed a soft  _ hm?  _ in response, waiting for him to continue.

Mark sighed, deciding to be straightforward and do this quickly, like taking off a band-aid.

“Why are you here, Sook?” he asked, making her freeze in her steps “I know you aren't here just because of chocolate. If Donghyuck let you came then something must have happened. What is it?”

Both, Donghyuck and Dongsook, hated it. They hated how they could never lie to Mark. They hated how he could see through them so clearly, know them so well, every inch of them.

And they loved it at the same time.

Sook put the last dress, a lilac one Mark gave her on her birthday, her favorite one, in the hanger and inside the closet before turning back to look at him and sighed.

“Some assholes made some shitty comments yesterday and Donghyuck got upset” she said, the Canadian staring at her waiting for a continuation “They said that if Donghyuck was so desperate to be a girl he should start dressing like one as well, plus the same old comments” she confessed, shrugging her shoulders as if she was used to it “When we woke up today I was here”.

Well, that explained a lot. Donghyuck hated when his female alter took it over, Sook would always cause problems going up and down strutting dresses and makeup and maneuvered hairstyles that took off completely his “manly” looks. But that doesn’t mean he trusted her any less.

Dongsook was the first one to appear, when Donghyuck was only ten. At that time the little boy was struggling with his own personality. He didn't understand why he felt more comfortable with girls than with boys, he didn't understand why he couldn't be pretty but had to be manly and strong like his other male friends. It didn't help that at that same year Na Jaemin – now one of Donghyuck's best friends and his cousin Jeno’s boyfriend – was transferred to his class and was so adorable and kind to him, making him feel things he never felt before for another boy.

So, Jaemin became Donghyuck's first crush (though he didn't know what that was at that time), but it wasn't until that dreadful comment that Sook made her appearance, that specifical comment that made his life change forever.

_ "B oys can't like boys”. _

If boys couldn't like other boys what that made Donghyuck then? Why did he have to be a girl to like another person of the same gender?

The next day, Dongsook asked their mother why she didn't have boobs like other girls at school. 

Everything could have gone wrong if Donghyuck's parents were any different than they were, mainly because during the next week Sook kept on questioning things like that as well as wanting to go to school in skirts like the girls’ uniform or styling her hair with cute pins or “borrowing” their mother’s makeup. 

In fact, Donghyuck only came back to his senses in a specific P.E. class, where the boys were set to play soccer (his favorite sport) and girls volleyball (his complete doom). And it would be an understatement saying he wasn't completely mortified when he looked in the mirror of the  _ girls’  _ locker room and saw himself with small strawberry pins in his hair and pinky glossy lips (well, at least he wasn't wearing a skirt).

And, the worst, a huge and black gap of what happened that week.

His life took a complete 360° turn after that and that wasn't only because his parents were called by the principal to discuss what he was doing in the girls’ locker room (and almost getting expelled for it). Donghyuck's life became a complete mess of jumping from doctor to doctor, psychologists and hospitals and exams, no one never giving a definitive conclusion of why the boy would blackout every time someone made a mocking comment about “the school’s new girl” and come back home as a feminine sobbing mess. 

The psychiatrist that gave the final answer to the already desperate family was their last resort. Donghyuck had  _ Dissociative Identity Disorder _ and Dongsook probably wouldn't be the last addition in their household.

Well, if things were already bad enough for the boy since his female twin alter appeared, imagine how he felt when that same doctor said clinics that treated DID only existed in Seoul? His main concern was his parents, of course, having to quit their jobs in Jeju and moving to a new city where they would have to start everything again since he didn't have any friends left besides Jaemin, who surprisingly stuck to him through thick and thin even when things were fucked up.

He could never imagine meeting someone like Mark through that scary new experience.

“Who did it, Sook?” the girl was thrown out of her flashback as the older Lee’s pissed voice binged in.

She shrugged her shoulders as if saying  _ I don't know _ , but Mark didn't bought it.

“You remember what they said, Sook, that means you were _co-conscious_ __ when it happened” he said, making his point “So, who did it?”.

Mark already knew the answer, of course, it was always the same people. But he wanted that Dongsook, better, Donghyuck said it for himself. He wanted the younger to know that he wasn't the wrong one there and mostly, that Mark wouldn't let some closed-minded douchebag say these kinds of things to the most selfless and caring person he had ever met.

Dongsook sighed.

“Lucas and Jaehyun”. 

He knew it, it was always them, the same ignorant people who tried to make Donghyuck’s life a living hell since he moved there, the same shithead guys that took pleasure in seeing others suffer and easily getting away with it just because Jaehyun’s father was their school principal. 

Why the smaller still even paid attention to what they said?

“Sook, is Donghyuck listening?” he asked, softly, the girl bobbed her head in yes “You are beautiful no matter what they say and, gosh, you are so much better than them. And I wish I couldn't have to say this every time, but I'll say it again and again until it sticks in that pretty head of yours. You ARE the most beautiful person I’ve ever met and that's not just related to your outer look, but with who you are inside. I’ve never needed you to be a girl to love you, Donghyuck; and that doesn't mean I don't love you too, Sook; because you are already perfect to me just the way you are”.

There was a slight pause between his speech and the girl’s answer, knowing that she was tunning in the same “channel” as the host.

“Do you really mean it?” she said, but Mark could recognize Donghyuck's insecurity in the female’s voice.

“Did I ever lied to you?” he questioned, to both of them.

Sook smiled, a smile that contained not only the alter’s but Donghyuck's own happiness as well.

She paused again in tunning, laughing softly before answering out loud to her twin and host:

“I think  _ this  _ I can do for you, little brother” she said, making Mark frown in confusion.

Before he could ask anything, though, the girl leaped forward and caught his lips on her own. 

Dongsook’s kiss was languid and serene. Different from her standard confident and onforward personality, she rather liked being led than conduce the act. So Mark took it over, nibbling softly at her bottom lip and making her open her mouth. She let out a soft moan before deepening the kiss. Dongsook tasted like the chocolate they ate and cherry from her lip balm and Mark licked his own lips, savoring the sweet flavor she left when she disconnected their mouths to breathe, a soft  _ be right back  _ before going in the bathroom’s direction.

Despite everything, Donghyuck started to get along well with his twin alter when he saw she actually didn't want to harm him. On the contrary, Dongsook, as well as his other alters, was only there to protect him from the cruel world they lived, from the malicious comments and awful pains they had to go through while growing up in a prejudicial society. So he started trusting her to take over when he couldn't take it as well.

Mark smiled thinking about it, even through a completely uncommon and messed up situation it was good that Donghyuck had someone like her to look after himself.

He heard a click on the corridor’s next door and waited for the girl to come back on her clean dress. But instead, he was faced with the younger male struggling to take off the still polka dotted one and he was sure that was not Dongsook whatsoever. 

“Donghyuck?” he questioned, hopeful.

The other, however, froze on his tracks, finally taking the clothing over his head.

“Oh, Markie! Didn't know you were there” the other answered with a smile as bright as the sun and Mark knew exactly who took over.

No one called him “Markie”, anyway, besides  “Haechan?”

It was safe to say Donghyuck met Mark through Haechan, but, of course, if one of his alters was there it couldn't be a usual situation (as usual).

Haechan was the third one to appear, kind of a year after they moved to Seoul. Their school choir was holding auditions and though Donghyuck really wanted to try it out he was too insecure on his skills to do it. What he would do, anyway, if people started to make fun of him now for not just being the freak of the school but a horrible singer as well?

It wasn't long after that he received an email saying he had made it into the choir and congratulating him for his exceptional performance of “You’ll be in my heart”. 

The credit wasn't his, whatsoever, since he didn't even had memories of that specific day after his last math class. However, that became a routine, Donghyuck would stay awake until the end of the period and then that new persona (who he had yet to name) would take over and do what he had to do in the club’s practice.

It wasn't usual for Haechan to take over if Donghyuck wasn't faced with a trial, like a stage or another competition like that. But everything made sense when after questioning him why did he came, the alter showed Mark a new message from Taeil, their choir prefect.

**Apado gwaenchana-hyung (12:34 pm)**

_ Chenle got the flu and lost his voice, can you perform in his place? _

Detail, Chenle was one of their main vocals and had a solo stage in their next performance, two days after that, so of course Donghyuck would panic.

Haechan sighed as he blocked the phone’s screen. It was kind of odd, while his other alters actually liked being out, Haechan hated when he was called. That was due to the fact that even if all of them existed to protect their host, Haechan truly believed Donghyuck could do that on his own. He was actually happy that he was called less and less during choir practice, which meant Donghyuck was more confident about his skills.

But that didn't mean he didn’t have relapses.

“Do you have the sheet music?” Mark asked after seeing the annoyed look the alter was giving.

“Yeah, Taeil-hyung dmed me it”.

Mark reached the guitar beside Donghyuck's bed table and tuned the strings, sitting on the smaller’s bed.

“Well, what are you waiting for? Let's get it”.

They kept practicing until Donghyuck's mother called them for lunch and, even then, Mark couldn't help but think about that in just one day the other one already had two shifts. That was worrisome.

They went back to practice after the meal, repeating the song again and again until Mark's fingers were bruised and Haechan called for a pause, going downstairs to get some water for them both.

In the meantime, the oldest Lee’s memories drifted back to a few years ago, to when he first heard that angelic voice.

Mark was part of the judges that would help pick their choir’s new acquaintances, alongside Taeil, Doyoung and Jungwoo. He didn't think the job would be actually hard until he spent the first half an hour hearing aspiring singers trying to murder their ears with a variety of “thrilling” versions of “Bohemian Rhapsody”, “Memories” and even some kpop songs.

He was almost telling the prefect to call for a break when the small and fragile boy walked up the stage, shoulders down and all curled up in himself when he stuttered to say his name right like he didn't know exactly what to say. And to be honest, he wasn't expecting much from him since his behavior told them the contrary of the powerhouse vocal that left him as soon as he opened his mouth in the beat. 

One could say Mark kind of got obsessed with the younger after Taeil approved him without a second thought. He spent the next few days trying to figure out what classes the other took, if they shared any, if he was in any other club besides the choir, etc. He even dared to ask it to Taeyong, their Student Council's president. He just had to know more about him since he looked like a ghost disappearing between classes and practices and Mark could never get a chance of properly talking to him.

Then there was this one time their whole club went out to a Karaoke to celebrate Doyoung's birthday. Donghyuck looked like he was forced to come, all curled up in the corner of their rented room, looking at the song list like choosing what he wanted to sing even if he hadn't dared to stand up and take the mic until that moment. 

It was Mark's chance.

He slid up on the sofa next to the other, making Donghyuck jump, surprised. 

“Hey, sorry I scared you” the older laughed, embarrassed “I'm Mark”.

It took a moment to Donghyuck mutter an almost unhearable “I know”. 

A heavy silence fell upon them again and Mark could feel sweat accumulating in his forehead.  _ Okaaaaay,  _ he thought, scratching the back of his head in distress.

“Soooo” he coughed up, trying again “Why are you here all alone, Donghyuck-ssi? You don't like Karaoke?”

The other boy looked at him for a brief second before straying his eyes to the table again.

“No, I mean, I like it, but…” he stuttered, his voice getting smaller again when he said “I'm not good at talking to people”. 

It was almost impossible for a human to define the words that left the smaller's mouth with that much noise around them, but by some force of the universe, Mark could hear it clearly. And it made him smile.

“Me too” he said softly and Donghyuck looked at him in disbelief, only to be taken aback by the sincerity his eyes were showing, he was telling the truth “You know why I joined the choir, Donghyuck-ssi?” the other shook his head “Because music seemed to be the only way I could deliver my words in a way people would understand and actually hear my voice, hear what I have to say” he smiled fondly at the end of his sentence “You feel the same way, don't you?”.

Before Donghyuck could answer, however, as a cue the music filling the room stopped and Doyoung, who was currently in possession of the mic, turned to them.

“Hey, Mark, Donghyuck-ah! Why don't you guys try it?”.

Donghyuck's eyes widened in surprise and he gulped. He was already ready to turn off the offer when an extended hand towards him came across his vision. He looked up and saw the older knowingly smiling at him.

“Ready to make yourself heard?” Mark questioned, patiently waiting for an answer.

In a spawn of courage, Donghyuck placed his hand over the other and let the blonde guide him to the Karaoke machine with a blinding smile. Everyone stopped to watch the unusual couple perform “Billionaire” with struggled voices behind laughs. Mark remembered glancing at Donghyuck several times during the song, every time it happened he couldn't help but think that he looked like a completely different person, so unlike the awkward and shy boy he was talking to just moments ago. 

As the last notes came off the sound system and they struck a pose at the end he heard a clear giggle escaping the smaller's mouth and Mark thought that Donghyuck looked like the sun.

Even now, when he was embraced in the warmitude of Donghyuck's hold, snuggled up close in late nights, cuddling in the sofa watching some random series on TV with their limbs intertwined, Mark thinks he could get burned any time.

“Whatcha’ thinking about?” his trail of thoughts was interrupted by the said boy, looking fondly at him from the doorway.

Mark smiled back.

“You” he simply answered.

Haechan scoffed.

“Course’ you are” he shook his shoulders, cocky, but Mark could see the faint blush that crept through his cheeks when he came closer and tossed a water bottle to the older.

They drank silently for a moment until Mark broke it with a question.

“Haechan,” he called the other “do you really think Donghyuck can do it?”.

He didn't need to say what, the alter already knew what he was talking about. He always knew.

Haechan smiled at him.

“I have no doubts”.

Mark pursued his lips before cupping Haechan's cheeks. His thumb traced his full bottom lip and the older got surprised when, suddenly, the smaller jogged forward and caught his lips on his own.

Differently from Dongsook, Haechan's kiss was heated and mellow, just like a warm breeze on a sunny day. Just like him. Mark remembered the first time he kissed Donghyuck, still in Haechan's persona. He felt himself heating up so much he thought he would get burned. 

Donghyuck, Haechan, they were the literal embodiment of the sun. Maybe that's why he called this persona “Full Sun”.

Haechan melted into the kiss, biting Mark's lips lightly and letting his giggles be heard by the older. The youngest hand traveled to tuck at the other's nape, playing with the little hairs there. 

Their tongues played in each other's mouth nicely, free hands roaming on their sides. The kiss was heating up even more and in a second Haechan's mouth was in Mark's neck, leaving a long trail of saliva from his tongue before biting the skin lightly.

Something was wrong, Mark had already kissed Haechan too many times to know that he doesn't leave marks.

“Peter”, he deadpanned, “stop”.

He felt the younger crooked smiled on his flesh, a weak bite on his lobe before speaking.

“My, my, you do know us that well, don't you, Minhyung?”, he whispered, sending shivers through Mark's spine.

He felt the air leaving his lungs as the smaller pushed him against the bed, hitting his back on the soft mattress. Peter hovered above him, a wicked grin adorning his delicate features. 

Now Mark was truly scared. Two different shifts in a day was already worrisome, but three of them? What the hell was happening?

“What's going on in that beautiful mind, Minhyungie? Wondering where Haechanie went?” the alter asked, laughing softly “Well, Haechan is good for his own purposes, but you know only  _ I _ can make you feel good for real”. 

He pinpointed his argument by starting a trail of kissed from his ear to his collarbone, sinking his teeth there as well. His right hand tugged at the hem of his shirt, lifting it enough for his hand to slip through it and roam over Mark's abs.

Mark hated Peter (not really, of course), from all the alters, he was the one that gave him the hardest time. He was egocentric, manipulative, troublesome and, worst of all, he loved trapping Donghyuck on his own body. 

The first time Mark met Peter he didn't know he was talking with an alter. It wasn't like his meeting with Haechan, though, at that time he didn't knew Donghyuck had DID. But with Peter, that was a different story. First of all, because he loved playing pretend, while all the other alters had their own traits and personalities, Peter craved Donghyuck's life.

When Mark arrived at the younger Lee's house that fatidic day for their sleepover when Donghyuck's parents went to visit a friend, everything seemed normal. He greeted the smaller with an innocent peck and went to his room to put his stuff away. Donghyuck's mother had left then dinner and they planned on watching the latest releases on Netflix while enjoying each other's company. Just like any other cute little date of two teenagers who never had a romantic relationship before.

They were in the middle of  _ Kimi no na wa  _ when it happened. One of Mark's arm was under the younger's head while his other hand played with his tights, a natural habit he acquired over the time they spent together. He looked through half-lidded eyes for the other's reaction to a particular cute scene playing on TV and found himself smiling at the sparkling big doe eyes entertained in the animation. 

Mark couldn't hold back the urge of kissing those pouty heart-shaped lips of the other and went forward to steal a peck from him. He didn't expect to be greeted with a witty grin that lasted for only a second before their lips collided. 

The smaller wasted no time in opening his mouth and slipping his tongue out, traveling in the older's and sucking it to his own warm cave. The kiss was heated and not like anything they've tried before. And that's what called Mark's attention.

He knew Donghyuck too well to know that he still was really shy to all of that, that he wouldn't start something like this out of anywhere when he was still getting comfortable with their current situation. 

So Mark did what he would never do on a normal day.

He pushed Donghyuck away.

The other slowly opened his eyes like in incredibility, the sparkling lips coated in their salivas slightly apart.

“Why did you do that?” he whined “Why did you pushed me away, Minhyungiiiie?”.

_ Minhyungie. _

It wasn't like Donghyuck had never called him by his “real” name before. But he rarely did that other than for teasing him when they were in his home and his mother called him for something by his Korean name. 

He had never used it so freely and, worse, to bribe him.

“Who are you?” he said what was on his mind out loud, taking the other aback.

Mark was still out of breath when the hurt look in the other's eyes was traded for a wicked laugh, adding more confusion to his thoughts.

“Wow”, the younger said after a while “you are not as stupid as I thought” he calmly took the remote and paused the TV before continuing “To be honest, I was kinda hoping I could play with you some more before you discovered I wasn't Donghyuck”. 

At that, Mark knew exactly what was going on.

“Who are you?” he repeated, more convicted this time.

The other sprawled himself on the sofa before nonchalantly answering.

“You can call me Peter, or Donghyuck's best half” he smiled teasingly before turning back to Mark “Now where were we?” he did mention to move to Mark's lap again.

Mark stopped him in his tracks before he could and Peter huffed. 

“Look, I know you like that dumbass, but I'm the best chance you have of actually doing something with that prude” he said dissingly “He's a coward, Minhyung! Why do you think I'm here? He doesn't have the guts to do half of the things he imagines with you. So unless you really want a boyfriend who can't even give you pleasure I would think twice of pushing me away”.

And with that, he dived again in Mark's hold, connecting their mouths once more.

_ This is wrong, this is so wrong, I shouldn't be enjoying this _ , is what was going through the older Lee's head. Peter was indeed a good kisser (even though he didn't knew where he got all that experience from) and Mark could feel the heat rising in his body and his heart wanting to beat out of his chest. 

But at the same time, he could only feel constricted by doing so. It wasn't like kissing Dongsook or Haechan, strangely. In fact, it was like kissing someone completely different, like going to a party and making out in the dark with someone you've never seen before and will probably never see again.  And even if part of him (the worst part of him, he would think) was enjoying the whole experience, the sane part of his brain could only think of  _ Donghyuck, Donghyuck, Donghyuck. _

Just when he was ready to push the other away once more (for real, this time) the smaller stirred and pulled himself from their embrace. He looked as startled as Mark was with the sudden action and shivered before muttering an almost soundless “son of a bitch”.

He passed out in Mark's arms. 

Later that night Donghyuck woke up in tears, also waking up Mark in the process and breaking up in sobs in his hold. They were in the smaller's room since Mark brought him there after his body collapsed on the sofa and Donghyuck told him he was co-conscious when everything happened, that's why he could force his conscience into “shut down” when things started to get out of control. 

Mark felt bad for him, not only because some part of him didn't want that to stop, but also because even if he pushed Peter away and forced him to quit that act that still wouldn't mean Donghyuck would magically come back. 

They shared their insecurities with each other that night, including the true reason why Peter was born (“I maybe got too excited with the prospect of both of us alone and kind of didn't know what could happen and…” Donghyuck said at some point and Mark ceased his rambling and trembling with a sweet and chaste kiss that reassured them everything) and a silent promise of rewatching that movie.

They were good, they knew after all.

Peter still showed up sometimes, though, mostly when Donghyuck would get slightly carried away with their caresses and touches or too excited. 

Just like now. 

Mark squinted his eyes and breathed deeply before holding Peter's arms firmly and with assurance. The alter looked disappointed for a while before grinning evilly and trying to kiss Mark again.

He wouldn't let this time, he promised Donghyuck to wait for him and to do it (specifically) only with his true persona, with his true consciousness. 

That's why he only got closer to Peter again to whisper in his ear “I'm sorry”, before pushing a specific spot in his neck. The smaller crumpled against Mark's chest once more. 

+

Mark shook the smaller body gently when Donghyuck's mother called them for dinner sometime after. 

The younger slowly opened his eyes and tried to focus on where he was and with  _ who _ he was before sleepily sitting on his bed. 

“Mark?” he muttered after a while, still slightly confused, apparently.

He was back.

“Hi, angel” the older answered, not resisting in slipping forward to press a little kiss on the other's temple.

Donghyuck hummed with the action, but his face crumpled again after pieces of memories that looked more like a distant dream started coming back to him. Mark realized what was happening and hold his hand through the process, waiting for him.

“Take your time” he assured.

A silent tear escaped the younger's eyes after everything sunk in. He looked helplessly to Mark.

“Oh my gosh, Mark, I'm… I'm so sorry, I didn't…” he started rambling before Mark shushed him and took him into his arms.

“Shh, it's okay, baby, it wasn't your fault” he tried to comfort him.

Donghyuck sobbed a little in his boyfriend's hold before he realized.

“Oh my God. Our biology project, Mark!” he lightly slapped the older and Mark faked hurt “We didn't even start because of everything that happened and it's for Monday and…”

Mark stopped his rambling again, saying “Really? You shift to every alter available in just one day and you're concerned about some idiot biology project?” he snorted.

Donghyuck pouted and Mark could just laugh it off, trapping him again in a bear hug that had the smaller protesting (but inside he couldn't contain his wild smile). When the older released him a little, Donghyuck grinned fondly at him and placed a small peck on his boyfriend's lips. Followed by another. And another, and another…

“Boys! Dinner's getting cold”. 

They parted their mouths giggling, stealing one last kiss from each other before fixing themselves. 

No matter how much different people Donghyuck had inside him, Mark's favorite kiss was always going to be from the host of them all. Because Donghyuck was just unique and amazing in his own way and Mark didn't need a thousand other personalities to fall in love with him. 

They left the room hand in hand, a foolish grin in their faces and a sweet silence between them, no words needed to know that everything was okay once more.

And about the project? Well, there was always tomorrow. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to know more about DID (it's really a cool subject) you can check the [DissociaDID](https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC6kFD5xIFvWyLlytv5pTR1w) system channel, I learned a lot through them and they were my main inspiration for this series.
> 
> I hope to appear here soon again, please stay safe, stay home and wash your hands! I love all of you, if you wanna be my mutual please hit me up on [twitter](https://twitter.com/miamiatzo)! 
> 
> Bye ^^


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